Monday, 22 December 2014

Sitting in Shit

I have two words for you. Sump Pump!! I know I should end the story here as we have dignity and ego at stake but then again that's for people who give a shit about what others think. I lack this so here it is.

I set the scene: Its -25 out. My wife is in her Pj's trying to break ice outside in the elements, I am in the basement in my underpants sitting on the floor trying to hold two pieces of pipe together and I am covered in shit. I am shouting to her to break the ice, she is shouting back that she's numb, I start screaming that dirty washing machine water is spraying all over me and I cant take it no more, my grip is slipping and when it does it will flood our new house and all our goods we still have not unpacked. Sewage water is gushing while I hold these pvc pipes together but I am loosing grip and bursts of water is coming out every time I slip or my arm gives in. How can this damn pump be this strong. How can this exit pipe freeze up. This is all bullshit I say.

"Call the fucking plumber immediately! I don't care its Sunday evening or how much they charge. This is a life and death situation" As I am getting more pissed off screaming to my wife to get on the phone already. I turn around and find her standing behind me with her glasses all frozen up laughing her ass off at me. I counted till ten then stared to relax and laugh with while soaked in sewage water and counting my blessings that I live in a First world country. After that no amount of bleach and aloe could wash my soul clean.

Go ahead and laugh cause I am done with this story and already moved on...........

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