Sunday, 12 February 2017

Treacherous Ice Mountain I hate YOU.

Its just something you gotta do. Go up a mountain together with your son and come down enjoying the excitement and thrill of the speed and danger. Elim and I started up the mountain but as snow fell freshly the night before it seemed like the mountain was wrapped in a nice smooth blanket and easy to climb. As we were a 3rd the way up our legs started to sink into deep crevices which were disguised by the snow. Each step was awkward and sometimes painful as well. Some crevices were so deep you could not bend your legs and had to pull them straight out.

With Elim's short legs getting caught I had to hold on to him tightly as I could even through all the padding we had on. Trying to grip his hand or arm through the gloves and thick winter jackets was not easy and I tried my best not to hurt him. I knew that if I let him go it would only take one slip for him to slide all the way down and to be injured by a kid on a snow board.

After like forever we reached the summit. Just a few more steps further. There we were so close to the top I felt like I was in the Death Zone like on Everest as we struggle to breathe in the ice cold air There was no snow on the top and you could see grass under what looked like 8cm of pure ice. I was holding on to Elim with dear life as the wind started to pick up. The view was brilliant and everything around was white. Not a tree was in sight. Young kids and their fathers snow boarding and wiping out on their man made ramps.

As I was looking out to see how fast these snowboarders were going I was concerned about wiping out with Elim. Just then everything went black.................... I could not open my eyes but felt that I was laying on my back. I could feel intense pressure from the back of my head. I decided not to move for a second and cradle my head in my gloves. I then reached for Elim to keep him from sliding. I lay there realizing I slipped on the deadly ice and fell backwards smashing my head on the thick ice. To my surprise no one around us came to check on me. My hat flew off my head, my glasses flew off somewhere and the toboggan was a few meters away.

So this is what a concussion feels like. Will Smith was right. This could kill you. I sat up trying to take the world in focus. I was on the biggest hill in the city but I tell you it was like a fokken mountain. My son looking at me trying to reassure me and help me up. Me thinking that this concussion is going to cause me to vomit so better go down the hill now. I look down and decide that the ride was too steep for me to take with a four year old so we go down another path with less of an incline.

I am on the plastic coffin sled and Elim jumps in between my legs. We motion forward and off we go.  I realize we have no brakes and that the kid and man below will soon be decapitated by our plastic coffin racing towards them. We feel the sled scratching against the ice as we launch like a rocket towards death.

I am planning to wipe out and protect Elim by wrapping him with my arms. The wind against our face we head straight for a man walking back up. As we fly towards him not changing direction I take action and dig my heels into the snow. We slow down slightly and change direction. Success I think. But then Elim turns around and all the snow I kicked up poured straight into his face. The little gap between his hoody, snow jacket and hat is covered in snow and I cannot see his eyes. He starts shivering and crying as I wipe away the snow to see his face. His face was red all over and he had snot dripping everywhere. Well.......what a fokken successful Canadian outing I planned. This bullshit I will not do again. I am done!! We going home so I give him some chocolate milk for destroying his first memory of sliding down a hill at full speed with this Dad and me almost killing myself. Canadians call it tobogganing, I call it the mountain of death ride in a coffin.
Over and Out! Literally!!!!
Actual Mountain we were on, Civic Park.

 This was definately a before picture, believe me. Don't even judge the pictures. It does not do the mountain justice. Whatever then.....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA this was kind of funny. I hope you are ok! David Nelson