The day I contracted the Ebola Virus

Flying to Canada for our second wedding we were on flight 4 of 11 flights. After 22 hours of non stop flying my bum was numb & I needed fresh air. What makes it extra long is I cant drink alcohol due to my special condition - verbal diarrhea. Just a few drinks and I have a desperate need to talk and entertain everyone with my wisdom. The last time I drank on a plane I flew at night - I spoke the head off both people sitting next to me who made like they were sleeping to get me to shut up. After a million more drinks I knew where the flight attendants hid at the back of the plane .......so thats a good 45 minutes of talking kak till they start avoiding me and ran away one by one. Then I sink down to stalking people at the toilets like a psycho at 3am. They have to go and thats when the alcohol says......Hey! you wasted and these people find you interesting.......hahahah. After a while I remember there's a crew kitchen in the middle of the plane so while everyone is sleeping I get to entertain and annoy those flight attendants. .......and just before I started the first on flight karaoke session with the easily accessible intercom..... I was given the evil eye to go back to my seat. Ya....right!...such player haters. So this time I flew sober for everyone's sake.

Well we land and on our way home I start throwing up along the road. I caught a bug and the nausea and vomiting continued for 3 days. Being the tough African........ I took a GrandPa & sucked it up for 3 days. Unfortunately wife & her father caught the GI and had to go to hospital at 5am on day 3. We told the doctor I had it first and we just flew in. Then he heard the infamous word. AFRICA. Yes we came from Africa!! That's all it took. The doctor started getting nervous and paranoid. The next day the hospital was on lock down. No one could enter without face masks and special permission. I couldn't believe it. Some ignorant people always blow shit outta proportion. Now they think I brought the Ebola virus in the country cause all they know about Africa is mud huts, mosquitoes, Ebola Virus & Aids - Now I am worried about being deported but our wedding is in 2 days. This is too much stress for an African. Cant we ever get a break!!

This is where I am from, beautiful Cape Town. Its more beautiful than Miami & 15 times cheaper than London. No Malaria or Ebola. I can understand you watch too much National Geographic and your expectation is negative but don't worry I am here to give you perspective.

My wife and father in law were not allowed to leave but during my visit we escaped the hospital without consent and continued arranging the wedding. Not sure how close we came to wearing surgical masks at the wedding but not even the Ebola Virus could stop our special day!