Wednesday, 19 August 2015

The Cape Town Gatsby

Here are some simple rules to follow to enjoy one of my favourite foods that I grea up with in Cape Town. This is usually consumed on the bonnet of your car at 4:00am. I copied the below etiquette as it summed it up perfectly. They all have the standard long roll with fries then you add your toppings which is usually polony slices, steak, calamari, Vienna or anything else you can imagine.

The traditional Gatsby for me is fries, fried polony slices, peri-peri chilli spice, hot mango atchar with tomato sauce. I believe back in the day it cost $US 0.60c. Perfect for after the night club or lunch on a sunny Saturday afternoon in Athlone where the best Gatsby's are made.

The Great Gatsby Etiquette
1. Keep the time between purchase and consumption of the Gatsby as short as possible. Cold chips are no one's friend.
2. Cut the Gatsby into a maximum of four pieces. Anything smaller is a gross injustice to the Gatsby because there's no way you'll be filled by a fifth or less.
3. Any chip falling from any given piece of the Gatsby is considered fair game. The ruling on this is final.
4. When separating the Gatsby, note the point of division: practice absolute precision here to avoid taking the bottom roll of the next person's piece. Ask for assistance if necessary.

5. You must finish your share. Besides it being a terrible waste, you'll be scorned by the Gatsby Fraternity for all time for being vesin (silly)
6. Grip is critical. Cup your piece in your hand so that loose bits have nowhere to fall except back into your hands. Avoid the scenario described in Point 3.
7. Never, ever leave the Gatsby unattended. It will "walk away"
8. It's best to accompany the Gatsby with a beverage, ie Jive, Frulati or Cabana. Hearty burping guarantees relief.

9. Observe relative silence when consuming the Gatsby. No one likes to talk and eat at the same time. See Point 1 regarding cold chips.
10. Always wash hands with soap and water at the conclusion to avoid getting a spicy finger in the eye, a condition commonly known as "Gatsby Eye". The only cure is self-induced crying. No one wants to see that, so just make the trip and wash your damn hands.
11. The bra that contributes the least towards the gatsby gets the smallest piece...
12. The Gatsby is not supposed to be eaten out of a plate, so make sure you ask the BB.Sc (Bra Behind Shop Counter) to double wrap the Gatsby to ensure enough paper for everyone.
13. Avoid eye contact with anyone not eating the Gatsby for fear of them asking for a stukkie (piece) or shouting "kap 'n baat".Alternatively turn the music volume up in your car.

14. When sipping on the Frulati (fruity juice), make sure you only have 2 sips then pass... anyone attempting more than 2 sips forfeit the next round.NO BACKWASH!!!
15. Nothing on the Gatsby is to be wasted (refer point 5), that includes any salads or sauces still remaining in the paper...


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