Saturday, 10 November 2012

A beautiful funeral

Strange but we ask it all the time. "How was the funeral?" ........"Oh it was so beautiful! says the other. Does that allow us to like and disapprove? I suppose if they did not serve food it would be a bad funeral. Well thats how I would rate it.

I once attended a funeral where there were 12 clergy sat up on stage. We arrived at about 9am and the service ended at 1pm. I like the guy but brother please, a man was starving. Knowing this guy he probably thought this is my last chance to entertain you so drag it on. Thank goodness for all the singing as it lightened the mood and muffled the noises from my stomach.

I remember seeing some aunty in the coffin and as everyone knows I still dont have a filter on my mouth. After looking at her I said she looked just like a witch. Iam sure my age & naivety protected me from death ray glares if in fact others heard me. I didnt actually know her and I was just telling the truth, which I have learnt in my later years can be very problematic.

Family trip around the Peninsula - Camps Bay
Thinking back to my ouma's funeral I always remember how heavy her coffin was. She had this huge aluminum casket which had a purple colour changing finish. I always thought she went out in style, if there is ever such a thing. Considering my dear ouma was a small woman I must say she had a Cadillac of a coffin. I think it was so big that us pall bearers were squeezed against the pews as we went down the aisle trying to lift this heavy coffin. I always have fond memories of ouma and wish I was mature enough to pick her brain about life. I would of definately asked her how her life was growing up and what are her favourite lessons learnt.

So I just realized how cheery this post is going to be, but for some reason I had to say something about planning for death and living your life with no regrets. Since my dads death 5 years ago I have been on a mission to be prepared for the worse. I went on a manic mission telling my family to make wills and last rights. I must say the blank stares and complete disregard they had for my suggestions were defeating. Ya I know you dont want to deal with this shit but if you dont then your family will be. So I lawyered up and bought every type of insurance there is......well almost. I downloaded wills from the internet and started a collection. Now that baby is here we will be updating our wills regularly. So what Iam saying is, just be prepared. Tell your family exactly how you feel. Learn to forgive and forget. Dont carry old shit around with you. Make a list of all the kak things you did to people and actually apologize. The harmony this will do is like soul food for your karma.

Since the hectic Cape Town party days I have reached across the ocean to mend my infractions. I apologized for the inconsiderate and imbecilic transgressions to people close to me. If not directly, I brought it up cleverly in conversation but never the less had my moment. If you feel that I have not addressed a wrong against you by apologizing, then Iam truly sorry because it probably wasn't big enough to warrant an apology and you must just be a big drama queen. Enough said.  

Family trip around the Peninsula - Chapmans Peak Drive

Indisputably the hardest thing to do in life must be to bury your child or mother. If you ever thought life was great and would always be the same, wait till you loose your mother. You are immediately forced into adulthood with an ugly huge push. "Iam the old responsible person in the family now!"

Only, at my moms funeral will the priest get lost on his way to the most famous landmark in the city. We finally get hold of him and he says to proceed with the other clergy. Ofcourse we told the other clergy they did not need to come to the grave so there we stand with a full procession and coffin ready in the hearse and no priest for the internment. I then hear someone comment "she's not ready to be buried yet" So just like her to delay her own funeral. What a laugh. She always had to have the last word and done very admirably. Going to miss my wonderful mom. I can hear her say "time to put on your big boy pants now"

Your homework for today would be to text someone you love and take them for lunch. Tell them you read my blog and remind them bluntly they are going to die and you just wanted to tell them how appreciated they are. Ask them how they want to be buried, where their will is and who's looking after the kids. Yes folks, its time to be talk honestly about the worst conversation topic on earth. "but how do I do this?" Its easy. Just be blunt!! Your maturity should be driving you to get this done. You will be forever grateful for my advice. I promise.


Anonymous said...

Well said! Good luck to you all!

Marion Wilton said...

I fully agree, G. This is one topic we all avoid, at the risk of sounding like a glum-bum. Thanks for sharing this. Smiling & tearing up at the same time. : ) Good job & keep up the blogging! Keep well & regards & much luv to M & the little one. Regards, Marion xxx