Thursday, 24 January 2013

You think its cold?

One way to know for sure is when you step out your door and your nose hair suddenly crystalizes in the -25C temperature. Iam talking about those tiny delicate hairs becoming rigid as ice picks ready to cut you open in the slightest move. Its the strangest feeling you'll ever have. As if a porcupine suddenly armed himself in your nose holding it for ransom. Now you afraid to rub it just in case you start bleeding. I would love to see you stick a Mickey Mouse band aid up in your nose.

It could also be cold if you suddenly cant seem to breathe. This usually happens when you first step out and take in a gulp of fresh odourless air. You will find the ice cold air strangling your throat and choking your lungs until you cough it free. In disbelief you deeply inhale again and cough, cough!!! happens again and your cough now loosens your bowels with a slight nauseating feeling. It literally takes your breathe away. Its doesnt help that Iam apparently in the coldest city in Canada. A place who usually makes fun of cities like Toronto & Vancouver for being pussies about the cold.

A few things I cant do anymore.........I cant go paryting like the good ol days and pass out in the car or sleep under the tree in front of my house because here I'll freeze to death. If my boys were this side I am sure my snowy yard would be full of cases of beer which would finally put the white stuff to good use. I just gotta acclimatize to this freak of nature and not do anything to provoke its anger. You wont believe the shit I need to get used to, imagine its freezing cold and you bundled up head to toe and now you start sweating. You cant take off anything cause your face will butt off. I know....Catch22. And to bring it all together, I know is cold when I cannot stop my car when driving less than 40 kph. When braking makes your car glide like an ice block down a water slide. Thank God everyone here has insurance......

Winnipeg in the Snow....

1 comment:

Sadist's magick said...

Blah when I was in Winnipeg it was only -18! Only! Lol this from someone who freezes whenever the sun disappears - Cape Town was never that cold altho I won't be visiting in June again. Ever!

At the moment, I'm content in Vancouver with temperatures barely hitting freezing and this afternoon, we have bright blue skies and sun - no rain! Lekker